Listening to the pundits on MSNBC and CNN, you'd think the Democrats have done a terrible job at their convention.
If you've actually watched the speakers thus far, however, you will have come to a very different conclusion.
So I've decided: I'm not going to listen to the pundits on TV any more.
Since this election season began, 19 months ago, I have watched the pundits, the bobbleheads, the right-wing nuts, the left-wing nuts, the political speeches, the ads, the polls. EVERYDAY.
It's a disease, a disease of addiction, like alcoholism. A paranoid voice speaks in my mind: You've got to keep abreast of what the pundits are saying! As if missing a single news program or a single speech was going to leave me out of the loop forever. As if the balance of the universe tilts upon my viewing habits. As if I'm learning anything valuable from all of this watching.
As with other addictions, what your body has convinced you feels good is actually bad. The MSM is bad for my health! When I take in a dose of Anderson Cooper, I get various side effects ranging from nausea to chest pain. When I swallow an hour of Hardball, I have cold/hot flashes and a hyperventilating sensation. When I get a shot of Olbermann, I suffer from induced euphoria. Other pills, such as David Gregory or Pat Buchanan or Wolf Blitzer, cause me to throw furniture around the house.
So I'm going cold turkey. I can hear Chris Matthews in the background right now as I type, interviewing citizens on the street about whether they're voting for Obama. I think I'm developing a fever . . . I'm going to turn it off right now.
I know I can do this. I can overcome my addiction to news television. My life will be better now. Once I get past the shakes, the restless sleep, the yearning -- I will be a happier, healthier person.
Will you join me?